I am going to take a break for awhile. I'm not going to post anything new for the next few months because its summer. One last thing, I am going to try to help someone else achieve their life of dreams. She didn't ask me to do this, I don't even know her, but I wanted to help her. She has a blog, and it is really good. So I am asking all of you that read this, to also read her blog. I hope you enjoy it- here is the link.
stopglobalwarmingtoday.blogspot.com

Is there such thing of caring too much?

For my entire life, my parents and relatives have told me that I care for other people a lot. They have said that I am not happy when other people aren't happy. I guess that that is true for the most part. I of course put my needs first at times, as everyone does, but when someone in my family is hurt or a friend is in pain, I can't help but feel it. This has been very evident recently. I have been blessed to be cast in the musical Beauty and the Beast with CYT. The only downside, my brother didn't get in. I put a smile on my face when I go to rehearsal, but in my mind I can't help but to think of my brother. I just keep thinking about why I am here, but he is not. In my dreams, he is there instead of me. I truly mean this because if I hadn't gotten in, I would have gotten over it after a few hours. Like my brother did, he was fine after awhile, but him not being there with me just makes me sad. The other day, all of the little kids were gathered and I looked at them. When I didn't see my brother, it took all of my strength to hold back tears. I am grateful that I can care for other people as much as I do, but I would not wish this fate upon anyone else.  The mental pain and emotional suffering is unbearable at times. I understand that it is the type of person I am meant to be, but it is hard to go through everyone else's pain on top of my own. My mother tells me on many occasions that my caring personality also makes me very sensitive. I guess that is why I cry when my brothers continuously make fun of me. With this wonderful gift that many have told me I have, I am trying as hard as possible to use it to help other people. I hope that I can honor God with this gift he has given me and I will use it to the best of my capability. This gift if going to help me achieve my life of dreams. I know it will!

I will not quit!

I am very happy at this moment in time! I previously interned for a spectacular women in costumes with a fantastic musical organization. It was one of the best experiences I have ever had, and I think I might be interested in a future in fashion design. One of my relatives, when she found out about my internship, was not surprised at all. She thinks that I am a fashionista and told me about me as a young girl. Apparently I would not leave the house with out making an entire out fit. She told me that I would put a scarf or other accessory that didn't match. Then, when I put it all together it went very well and look fantastic. That is the new news I have and here is the actual up-date!
I have been searching about requirements and contracts that have to deal with starting a nonprofit. I haven't found a lot of useful information, but I will not quit. I will never quit! My mom has many friends that are very involved in nonprofits and I will continue to talk to them. My goal is to have it started by summer. So I have all of Spring, which has to be enough. I feel as though, when Hart's Heart is officially started, that I will be able to relax more. Well, for a little bit, then I will be working really hard to keep up with everything. Another update: I think I am done with wanting to become a chef. I will always love being in the kitchen, but I don't know. The lucky part is, I have a while until I need to know for sure. All I know for now, is that I will do anything to change the world and I will not quit until I achieve my life of dreams.

Stressed and overwhelmed...

Over the past couple of months many things that have changed me forever have occurred. One is the fact that I finally was tested for ADHD and found out that I do indeed have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Many good things came from taking my medicine, but also some very bad things have happened. As it should be good new first: my grades are spectacular, I focus on anything and everything, and I just feel better as a person. The bad news is that it, for some reason, has caused me to stress over small things. I already go completely overwhelmed at times, as everyone does, but it just got kind of worse. In my opinion, the good out weighs the bad. And with some time, I think there will be no more bad. Which is good, because I don't think I would be able to achieve my life of dreams with out my new meds.

This might be a little harder than I thought.

     The other day I experienced a very hard day. I cut my finger, burned my thumb, and experienced a very emotional night. For some reason, I have experienced a lot of those lately. Just plain awful days that you wish you could forget but you know you never will. I just keep thinking that I should just give up trying to make this world better because I know that accomplishing greatness means I will have to go through more of these days. Then I remember that those bad days were part of the reason that I first wanted to change the world. Although those days make it harder for me to keep going, I know that they are just making me stronger. As long as it gets harder for me, I know that my journey is just going to have a better end result.
     When I talk about changing the world I truly mean changing it in many ways. By the time I am dead I want  to leave the world not having any dependence on nonrenewable resources. This is one of the major things I want to change. Also I think the population needs to decrease a lot. With our vastly growing population our problems are getting worse. Also, I want to some how just make the world, as a whole, happier. Just everyone living in harmony, always wanting the best for other people. I realize probably won't happen in my life time, but a girl can dreams. I mean, hey, anything is possible.
      Although life has its ups and downs, I will always enjoy the ride. Especially because the lower lows you have to live through, the much higher highs you get to enjoy. (Thank you Physics!!) Well, I hope everyone can enjoy the ride with me in the life of our dreams.